


Loose Ends

by smilexdarling



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Canon Compliant, Conflict Resolution, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 07:37:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18890125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smilexdarling/pseuds/smilexdarling
Summary: The missing conversation between Rachel and Patrick after the barbecue.





	Loose Ends

Patrick delivered David’s plate to him and turned to find Rachel standing a few doors down looking uncomfortable.

“Can we talk?” she asked, motioning to what was apparently her room.

He nodded and followed her inside. 

Rachel sat on the bed while Patrick sat in the desk chair, the air charged and silent.

He couldn’t believe how quickly the evening had fallen apart. He’d been so excited to get to spend more time with David and his family, hoping to impress them with a rousing fireside singalong, and to maybe cap the night teaching David how to make s’mores. 

It was quite the emotional whiplash to have started the day joking with David at the store, enjoying his fond exasperation at Patrick’s gift, to then be sitting with his ex-fiancée while David was locked away in his room, upset and unsure about their relationship. 

He had to figure out a way to fix everything because he cared about David in a way he had never cared about anyone else before, he was pretty sure he loved him, and he couldn’t bear the thought of losing him. But first, he had to settle things with Rachel. Apparently moving away and building a new life in a new town wasn’t enough to keep his past from catching up to him. 

“I’m sorry,” Rachel said as she toyed with a bit of her hair, avoiding Patrick’s eyes. “I should never have come here. I mean, get a clue Rachel, if a guy skips town to get away from you and barely responds to your texts, he clearly isn’t interested.”

“Rachel—“

“I’m such an idiot.”

“No, you’re not,” Patrick insisted.

Rachel covered her face with shaky hands as her breath hitched. 

Unable to just sit there and watch her cry, Patrick moved to sit down gingerly on the bed next to her, keeping a respectful distance. He didn’t know what to do when faced with sad-Rachel anymore. Toward the end of their relationship, fighting and the subsequent comforting had almost become routine, but they weren’t those people anymore. He wasn’t going to end up trying to fix things between them to get back together. 

After an awkward moment of hesitation, Patrick leaned his shoulder into Rachel’s and she seemed to deflate a bit at his touch. 

“Was it all a lie? Our whole relationship? Everything?”

Patrick had no idea how to answer that. He was still working through all of his feelings himself, trying to understand what being gay, now that he finally knew that part of himself and could acknowledge it, meant about his past. When everything had fallen into place after those first few meetings with David, he had overanalyzed his past, kicking himself for not seeing it sooner. There had been so many instances where it should have been obvious, but for whatever reason he hadn’t known he didn’t like girls. The best explanation he could come up with was that maybe his subconscious had locked the reality of his sexuality away until he was in a better mental place to face it. He would never know, but it did make his past with Rachel complicated. 

He had loved her. He still loved her and wanted her to be happy, but he now knew it was the kind of love people feel for their best friend, not someone they’re dating. They had been been through so much together: finishing high school, college, figuring out how to be adults. 

“You were my best friend for basically half of my life, Rachel. Everything we did together, everything we’ve been through, it all mattered. That hasn’t changed.” Patrick rubbed at the back of his neck, “I didn’t know why the romantic stuff with us never felt right, but I knew I loved you and I wanted to make it work. I tried so hard to get my feelings to match what my brain wanted, but I couldn’t do it. None of it was a lie, though. I was never faking anything, I just didn’t know that what I was feeling wasn’t romantic love. I still loved you, just not how either of us wanted me to.” 

Rachel had dropped her hands from her face while he spoke and was now watching him with red-rimmed eyes.

He continued, “I’m not sorry for being gay, but I am sorry for wasting your time.”

They sat in silence as Rachel wiped the last of her tears away.

Finally she muttered, “It wasn’t a waste.”

He looked back at her and she held his gaze with a wobbly grin.

“We had a lot of good times, made a lot of good memories. You were my best friend, too. None of that was a waste.”

Patrick blinked back his own tears and mirrored her tentative grin.

“I’m sorry if I messed things up with you and—“

“David.”

“Right. David.”

“You didn’t mess anything up,” Patrick sighed, “I should have told him about you sooner.”

“How long have you been together?”

“Four months today.”

“Shit, I crashed your anniversary.”

Patrick huffed a laugh, then frowned down at his hands, “I hope he can forgive me.”

“As weird as it might be for me to say, I think he’ll come around.”

“I don’t know, he was really upset. He doesn’t open up easily and I just gave him another reason not to trust people.”

Rachel placed her hand over his, a gentle touch that was achingly familiar, but not as comforting as it used to be. Not when it was David’s touch he wanted and worried he may never have again.

“People don’t get upset unless they really care. I’m not saying it’ll be easy, but if you apologize and put in the work to prove to him that he can trust you again, then I’m sure it’ll be okay. And if not, then it’s his loss.”

Patrick shot her a sheepish smile, “Thanks, Rach.”

She nodded and stood up, “Okay, I’ve got a long drive tomorrow so I’m kicking you out now. It’s been a weird, exhausting day and I need sleep.”

“Okay,” Patrick chuckled, following her to the door. They hesitated for a moment, then laughed at themselves before hugging each other goodbye. 

He knew they both needed time, but he hoped that someday they could be friends again. Rachel was a good person and he wanted to be a part of her life. And maybe someday, if he played his cards right, he could introduce her to his boyfriend David.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on [tumblr](smilexdarling.tumblr.com) if you like!


End file.
